Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Me, the You, and the Us.....

Brought to you by the me

When we love someone we can potentially "lose" our selves in the process. It is, perhaps, a process of expanding and contracting, like that of a heartbeat. Or maybe, a moving in and moving out motion, like that of a tide turning.

First there is only me, then you come along. Then there is Us. I forget my self, me, in Us. Next, something happens; usually in the form of a notable difference between you and me, or a disagreement, so that I may re-member my self, and return from Us.

A process, it is, of distinguishing between the you and the me.  The Us is also an entirely unique and authentic entity separate from both the you and the me. (As the Us does not incorporate everything that the you and the me are composed of as unique individuals.) Of course, the Us does require regular nourishment from both the you and the me to sustain itself.

There are many speculations as to why so many Us's do not last.  Either the me or the you could be too "heavily invested" in the Us.  Or rather, one or both individual may use the Us to compensate for the Me. One individual may come to resent the other for not wanting to constantly be in the Us (where the resenting individual is spending most of their me time.)  Another perspective is that some may unconciously get "lost" in the Us, (dis-abling the me), in an attempt to escape the me. This route derails the "lost" one from having to face the me (and conciously change the me.)  Also, there can be the unconscious desire to de-stroy the me.

The reality is, the me and the you are dying little deaths every day. Some more so than others.  In other words, the me and the you are Changing as individuals, all the time.  Obviously, the Us can influence and even promote individual changes in both the me and the you. (as any re-lationship can.) Maybe though, the me or the you do not want/welcome/or are not ready for the change offered by the Us (which the me and the you Dynamic produces.)

That is the "falling out" of any Us. Either the me or the you, or both, choose to destroy the Us that the me/you dynamic created. The me and the you go on our separate ways. Perhaps the me and the you have changed individually as a result of the Us; perhaps not. Maybe there was a lesson or lessons to be learned from creating the Us. The lesson/s may be different for both the me and the you. If the me or or the you do not, as individuals, hear/listen/internalize this lesson, we will surely create similar Us's in our lives with others. Until we hear/listen/ and internalize that lesson, our creations are sure to repeat.

Also, it should be noted that the me and the you will most probably experience/percieve the Us differently. That is irrelevant (and healthy and normal), so long that the Us serves both the me and the you as individuals.

Lastly, I believe that the Us produces much more energy than either the you or the me could amass on our own. It is full of life force, as any work of art, creation, or miracle. It is both apart of us and entirely seperate. With that said, it should be dualy noted that the Us is not any better than the individual you or the individual me. After all, the Us would not exist if not for the you and the me :)

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