Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Past---The Present---The Future; Part 1

When I was 15, I had the pleasure of going away on a summer vacation with a group of teenagers throughout the midwest. We did it all; mountain climbing, horse back riding, hiking, camping, white water rafting...... When our summer came to a close we celebrated around a camp fire, probably eating smores and laughing with our group leaders. Our group leaders were so Awesome as to get each of us a thoughtful gift to remember that summer by, and as a way to honor our individual spirits, I believe.

I remember feeling totally unsure of what I would recieve, and waited in anticipation since I was last in line around the circle. I was taken aback when my leaders presented me with a simple elegant silver ring that consisted of three rings linked together to form one. They told me that it represented my past, my present, and my future. It was the sweetest gift ever, and very unlike any of the gifts anyone recieved that night. I knew they had thought long and hard about what to get me, as they both knew alot about my past; which was highly different than anyone else in our group that summer. I still own and cherish this ring.

I am currently discovering how they (my past, present, and future) all effect one another. They intermingle, dance, laugh over drinks at the same cocktail parties. They have coy inside jokes.  Like hahaha, Jill has no idea which of Us shes interacting with or utilizing right now, in this here situation. They are sneaky tricksters and I love them a point.

I try to escape my past, but it resurfaces. In the people I meet, the people I choose, the people I develop feelings for, the hobbies I have, my interests, everything.

My present has the most serene and calming effect, until I later discover that I was reenacting something from my past. //Silly Jill, trix are for kids.// Still, those moments were precious reenactments, and probably slightly different then their former expressions; as no play performed more than once is exactly the same. The angle of a light, the pitch of a characters voice, the pace of the lines spoken, the way the lace lies across the bodice. It is still just as beautiful as the first time, and just as Valuable; especially if you have the awareness of pattern recognition.

The future I believe can be rewritten If we rewire ourselves, erase our programming//rewrite our software. Don't get me wrong, the past serves a purpose; an important purpose. It helps shape you and teach you. But, like any relationship, it can outlive its service and necessity. Thats where we start repeating the habits that keep us static rather than propell us forward and initiate change.

Stay Tuned for Part Deux......

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